Oh lawks Girls what a night !

I must say, well done all of you who copied down the recipe for German Rhubarb Wine and had a go at making it last night after lights out. Madame Grognonne will be around later in the term to test them. Please do not see this as any form of competition it is merely that she enjoys rhubarb wine immensely and, since the recipe is as, you know, an old family one she naturally feels obliged to try at least one bottle from each batch in order to maintain some sort of quality control. For those of you who have drunk yours already may I just add that the idea is to let it mature slightly longer than the 4 hours you allowed. I know adding surgical alcohol gave it an extra kick ChrisH but I still maintain it deadens the fruity bouquet a trifle.

Some of you seem to have tried adding a few extra ingredients to the original recipe. Countrymousie, we all know how much you like pink dear but don’t you think adding beetroot may turn out to be a bad mistake ? In my experience it adds a rather earthy aroma to the wine which can make it quite unpalatable unless drunk with gin and with a peg on ones nose. Well if you like it like that then you drink it dear. No inthemud you are NOT to try it, put the glass down at once. Faith you know we do not feed alcohol to birds, now look at them flying around in circles. No Fennie they are not Buzzards circling they are drunken doves.

Now look here, despite my warning about remembering to sterilize the demijohns if you got them form the janitor. Warnings which we reiterated by Head herself I might add, SOMEBODY did not pay attention (snailbeachshepherdess I think you know who I mean). Poor Matron has been up all night dosing several students with sheep liniment and the Janitor had to search out the Sports masters repair kit to cobble together a makeshift stomach pump. Actually the football pump worked very well considering, but I doubt he will ever be able to use it to inflate his balls again, not after Milla swallowed the nozzle. Luckily Tattie weasel was there with the calpol… By the way Tattie where id you get 40 cases of calpol? No I not believe for one moment your mother sent it to you. Really, you better think of a better excuse before Head calls us all in to Assembly!


The photograph is of Matron and the school secretaries in Heads office this morning writing to parents to explain why they have had to cancel the exeat this weekend. If you look carefully you may notice Blossom sitting on the chair at the back with her head bowed. Blossom you have only your self to blame , anyone with a ha’pen’th worth of sense would have realised that lighting fireworks in the belfry was not a good idea. I know petrol is a wonderful way to light a fire dear but wood is highly flammable especially when mixed with gunpowder. You really should have let Madame Grognonne help as she so kindly offered. She did after all mastermind a splendid blitzkrieg on the Gestapo head quarters during the war.

Speaking of which , Madame Grognonne will be around later for donations to kick of the fund for the rebuilding of the clock tower. If you have any left over fertilizer, bags of sugar dynamite or fireworks I think, under the circumstances , it might be wise to hand them over too. Suffolk Mum its no good you protesting you were marooned at home all week you were seen and there are tell tale burns marks on your gym slip dear. Francis and Pond side and Sally stop sniggering.

We really should be ashamed of ourselves. Poor Head left us here on our own and trusted us in the common room whilst she and staff went out for a well deserved break and she comes back to find we have blown up the bell tower, flooded the playing fields (Pipany I think you must accept the blame there don’t you ? The leaflet on loo installation stated perfectly clearly that "the life of fittings of tank will be shorten probably if cleaning by the ground water with the feature of higher rigidity."that “ but you did it anyway. That dear is just stubborn.

I have already talked about the poisoning with rhubarb wine so I think enough has been said. What with that and Jackofall being found hiding under my bed in the dorms by Matron I think we will all be very lucky if we get off with anything lighter than 2 weeks detention ,100 thousand lines in copperplate and no tuck shop for a month.

Oh Waily Waily! What a night and now I have to go off to extra French and I haven’t even looked at my conjugations !