France ... the day after the lunatics have taken over the assylum

The day after the end of the world...news update from France


I am still fumbling around in the dark trying to find the light switch in this my new blog room so bare with me girls, ooh I see we have a few chaps too with us, so you are very welcome too, must have someone to do the heavy lifting after all, Johnny Depp is that you dear ? Good lord heronthehill will be pleased to see you!

I like it here, and I am sure I will get used to it once I find my way around. Mme Grognonne did have a map but used it to light her cigar so I am having to guess. It took me an hour this morning to work out how to get in to write another blog!

Do hope you like the new wallpaper and the poster! I got quite carried away when I found I could make my blogroom more homely, I am thinking of bringing in a pot of geraniums for my desk and a basket for Oscar and the kittens. Then of course there is the coffee perker and the wine rack. Family photos a few soft toys, some snacks and nibbles a couple of easy chairs.. fluffy bunnies cuddly toys fondue set…craft books…Mme Grognonne says she would like an ashtray but I think its probably no smoking here..

Nice computer man came back yesterday to almost sort out Eldests machine, he will be back next week with a polish speaker. Not for the computer but for Eldest who is off to Poland next month to represent her country as a symbol of effective youth (not sure which country she is representing but apparently she and several other game young things are off to meet some poles in um Zesomething or other to discuss the fate of the planet). Computer man has promised his friend will teach her a few useful phrases and told her to think of some in readiness. She is thinking along the lines of "you look cute can I have your number ? " And " is this skirt available in a smaller size" I am working on "one step closer and I scream" and " where are the toilets". Computer man says, not to worry, Poland is lovely and she will have a great time.

I always wanted the children to travel but rather hoped I might go along too! Eldest has promised that when she is famous she will take me to her film premieres, she thinks it will be good for her public image. But only if I practise getting out of a car elegantly and get some decent clothes.

White cat came limping back yesterday her leg furless but it is clean and healing, and she obviously managed to stagger as far as a sunny patch on the grass just the other side of the dog fence where she lay and watched the dogs going berserk trying to get at her. I picked her up and Chief Patissier put gunk on her wounds and we fed her so hopefully the daft creature has survived her journeys inside a Landrover engine. Youngest is very pleased she is safe and not dead, Middle, who came back from camp yesterday, is very disappointed that he missed all the excitement ( I think he is talking about the cat not country living) and wants us to pop her back in the small hiding place under the bonnet so he can see.

Eldest is stomping around muttering rude words about Country Living and demanding she read all my blogs from day one, I am trying to put her off for the sake of her mental well being. It is always hard to find out your parents are human, little trickier to find out your mother is bonkers and has to alter egos!

Must go before I am discovered but band of roaming children searching for breakfast. The person who invents the silent keyboard will make a whole generation of seret bloggers very happy!

Until later chaps hang on in there!