Monday, 3 September 2007

Dear Madame.....regarding efnics...


Dear Madame Loufoque,

I was very sorry to hear that the Chief Druid had drowneded, even though he were a creepy bloke and a bit of a groper as I mentioned in my cartre postale I wouldn’t have wanted him dead. And fancy him being a plant thief and all!! Cor, you know more about it than I do and I is here!! I suppose they are saying it was by accident his being drowneded, probably slipped picking plants by a river or something like that and his dress pulled him under. Although you do hear a lot about police brutality and efnic moniroites so perhaps it was the police what did away with him because he was an efnic.


Not sure quite what an efnic moniroite is, but I reckon wearing a dress and an embroidered muffin cover on his head probably made him one of them, that and the flowers. And what about the Gendarme then I always thought he was a bit odd but never thought he was one for stealing knickers!! Do you reckon that he and the Druids were in carhoots together what with the gendarme stealing womens clothes and the druid wearing dresses?

I told the sardine gutters , who are still lurking about the village green after dark hoping for a quick grope of Loics lower limbs about the chief Druid and they said they were not surprised because he often came to riffle the fish entrails on account of being able to read them or something but they reckoned it was so he could have a closer inspection of their cleavages, probably after fashion tips.


I have asked Jacques why he has an Eparé as requested by you but he says what is one and why should he have one and if anyone says he has one and he shouldn’t then he is a liar. Since it was you who asked I hit him with the frying pan for him being so insubordinatttive, insoorbinateeet, unsabordinatttit, rude to you. He was not very happy about it but we had a new batch of cider from Loic which was very good indeed and we soon made up.
I hope you and Sir are enjoying rolling in the mud with your new friend.

Yourse respectfully

Madame Grogonnne.
ps I am sending you a picture postcard of a Gendarme in uniform whioch the postman thought you might like to see on account of my telling her about the Gendarmes and the Druids, I reckon this one has been knicking ladies undergarments as well.

13 comments:

Blossomcottage said...

Dear Madame Grogonnne.
I am so glad you are handy with a frying pan, there are times when such corection of rudness is required, but so glad you drank and made up in the end, I hear the cider is wonderful as for Sir and Madame, I understand from those that know the mud is of good texture and not too warm which I am sure is adding to their enjoyment.
Your always with the upmost respect and awe of your wonderful writings
Blossom

Suffolkmum said...

I too am glad to see you know how to set matters to rights, Mme G. The cider sounds good. Delighted to see one of your missives.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Yes the picture does look a little suspicious.

Crystal xx

muddyboots said...

cider is very good for the digestion & also for the removal of anything that just happens to be stuck.

Frances said...

It would seem that the hands that hold the frying pan are also hands that can take care of the entire household.

Well done, Mme G.

xo

sally's chateau said...

The Loufoque chateau is in good hands it seems ! there are times when such a robust approach would work well down here !!

bodran... said...

I cannot agree more,,xxoo

LittleBrownDog said...

Do you know, I think I saw some of Loic's Cidre on sale in a French Supermarche when we were over there last week, although I'm afraid to say I didn't partake, it looking a little strong for my delicate constitution. I think they may have even had a special label made for it depicting the legendary prosthetic limb - it might have been that, but I can't be absolutely sure...

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Mmmmmm reckon hitting him with a frying pan was even better than poking him in the eye . . .

CAMILLA said...

I do believe Madame Grogonne, may have partaken of la eggs and bacon from pan before she did the swifty hit.

Camilla.x

snailbeachshepherdess said...

I dont know ..sobbing one minute shrieking the next!!

Pondside said...

I've had a good look at the picture of the gendarme, and see that it purports to be a photo of a Woman of the Future. God Forbid that we will ever see women gendarmes - and in tights!!! Scandalous!

Grouse said...

I am heartened to see the new lingerie catalogue promoting such robust liberty bodices.

I have been experimenting with the mud and chicken muck and can confirm that this method of complexion treatment leaves much to be desired.......