Sunday 16 September 2007

URGENT TELEGRAM


URGENT TELEGRAM

FAO Madame Grognonne,

Alarmed to hear recent turn of events. STOP. Do nothing until I return! STOP.Returning by train tonight. STOP. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES allow Jacques to finish off cellar dweller and inter in melon beds.STOP.

Madame Un Peu Loufoque.
Footnote..
The photograph is of Jean Luc Perdu, the truculent and tardy telegram boy for the commune who sadly, due to a diminished sense of direction delivered this Telegram to its rightful recipient some days after it was dispatched by the sender. The missive eventually arrived at its destination via Paimpol where, by chance, Jean Luc was luckily waylaid by an friendly female fish gutter who recognised the recipients name and , after a short delay, sent him back in the right direction armed with a baguette and a pot of Bloater paste for the Journey.

19 comments:

Westerwitch/Headmistress said...

Oooooeeeerrrrrrr

Elizabethd said...

Mais....are the gendarmes still in the cellar?? Mon dieu!

@themill said...

If the gendarmes are still in the cellar will it not pong a bit -
or is it the bloater paste?

LITTLE BROWN DOG said...

ooh-er - that's left us on a bit of a cliffhanger! How on earth is Mmme G going to wriggle her way out of this one?

On the edge of my seat, breath baited, etc.

Norma Murray said...

Ooops! I fear for the state of Un Peu's melons.

Sally Townsend said...

oh dear I wonder what you are going to find on your return ? Something to make me fall off my chair with laughter no doubt !!

Pondside said...

Oh dear, oh dear. This may be it - Mme G may have gone too far this time! Can't wait for all to unfold.

Anonymous said...

I suppose the telegram boy can't coomplain..

Crystal xx

Grouse said...

Aha! Now we will see some fireworks!!!!!!!!

Fennie said...

Do I hear the banging of stable doors long after the horses have bolted?

I suspect the melons are already putting on weight, though I do hope that Jacques had the foresight to remove the said gentlemen's pistols. Iron in the soil brings melons out in spots.

Was the female fish gutter called 'Trouvée' by any chance?

Chris Stovell said...

Too little, too late, I fear! Will Mme Grognonne restore the household to order in time?

Suffolkmum said...

I'm on the edge of my seat - how will it end?!

muddyboots said...

eeeey, what next???

Tattieweasle said...

What Mme G at a loss? Caught out? Nay, the lower orders have an uncanny knack when it comes to self preservation - beleive me dear friends all will come about...(Says she crossing fingers)

Casdok said...

Another oh dear!!

snailbeachshepherdess said...

So will the real Jean Luc stand up coz I just accidentally found out theat the telegram boy is actually Thomas Swinscow...oooops...what the hell has she done with jean Luc???

CAMILLA said...

Heavens, how is Madame Grogonne going to get out of that one.

Camilla.x

Un Peu Loufoque said...

SBS re Thomas Swinscow, Jeans father was English and christened him Thomas Swinscow, his mother however being Breton he was registered under a French name as only certain names were acceptable under French law at this time. There was infact a list from which names had to be chosen. The name Thomas was on the list however the registrar was convinced that the name Swinscow was in fact being offered as the childs prenom not his Nom so it was rejected and the french registrar chose the alternative of Jean Luc Perdu. He actaully got off lightly as his elder sister was registered as Bertrand on account of her masculine looks so he could quite easily ahve ended up as marie or even Suzanne! Can you imagine the potential complications of by being a boy called Sue?.

Since his father did a bunk soon after the arrival of Thomas, possibly to escape from the attentions of his wifes evil cross eyed twin sister Elodie who had an unnerving habit of hiding in haystacks and hedges leaping out at him when he stopped to relieve himself ,there being never any public urinals to hand when you need them,Jean was brought up by his mothers family. His only legacy of his Anglo descendancy being his love of bloater paste sandwiches and genral lack of a sense of direciton a genetic flaw which even tante Elodie has not managed to cure.

Cait O'Connor said...

Just been catching up. so exciting! Can't wait to see what happens now.
This really should be published, I can even imagine hearing it on the radio. Great cure for the blues.