Wednesday, 22 August 2007

A postcard to Madame Loufoque from Madame Grognonne



Dear Madame,

I am writing to inform you that the cases of wine master ordered have been delivered and that that I have made sure Jacques has stored 'em with care in the cave chez Loufoque as directed. I have taken the key myself and hidden it in my bodice in order to keep it safe and out of harms way. I had thought to secrete it in my combinations but thought it the first place he would look. Apart from the other evening when I accidently shot the new gendarmes wife in the derriere, mistaking her for an intruder, as she was bending over in the melon beds all has been quiet. having mistaken her for an intruder having seen her bending over in the melon beds. She claimed she was admiring the cantaloupes but I suspect she was hoping for a free fondle of Loic’s appendages when no one was about. What she thought she was doing coming and sticking her nose in uninvited I have no idea but she was most discombobulated she was! A small fight broke out in the village between the chief Druid and the curĂ© regarding sharing the offerings at Loic’s shrine, as the chief Druid says fertility is a pagan thing and the church has no right to go pinching his customers. The druids have set up a rival stall close by the village lavoire and are selling postcards of the chief druid for 2 centimes each so I has got one here to send you so as that you knows what he looks like. I am not sure why he is dressed in a large napkin but think it must be cos Druids is notoriously messy eaters. Meanwhile the pigs have been very lonesome since Loic has been away and Jacques has taken them into the stable with Marron the horse to keep them company. This makes it rather hard for me to sleep what with Jacques, the pigs and the horse all snoring and farting in their sleep. It does however keep the place warm on these unseasonably chilly nights.


respectable regards from Madame Grognonne
Ps please send grosse bissoux to the children.




12 comments:

Exmoorjane said...

It's the beard that does it. We won't allow druids at table...best left in the garden shed. I like a nice bard though, but the ovates are beyond the pale.

The Country Craft Angel said...

I also find it hard to sleep on these chilly evenings but think I will give this idea a miss!!

warm wishes

ChrisH said...

Oh that cheered me up! Pass me the gin to go with my mind altering drugs!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

My, it almost sounds like my bedroom once husband has ascended to bed.

Crystal xx

Pondside said...

I fear for the household as I don't think there's much standing between Mme G and chaos. On second thought, there may just be chaos all on its (unobstructed) own.

Blossomcottage said...

Welcome back, I do so enjoy these just caught up,not sure I could cope with to much of the farting to keep me warm, The Head of House under the desk is about as much as I can manage.
Blossom

muddyboots said...

it is always hard to tell a bloomer from a cantelope, and now there are druids as well.

Suffolkmum said...

Lovely to be cheered up on what feels like a winter's evening!

snailbeachshepherdess said...

Do you reckon she wrote slowly knowing her boss cant read very fast?
What are dobobobob thingy wotsits..is that French or Anglais?

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Looking forward to the chilly nights - well they are here now . . . dogs seem to fart regardless of the season . . .

Frances said...

Hello from New York,
Not sure if you received the e-mail I sent you while you were on holiday. I will try to send another now.
Cheers.

Grouse said...

Just catching up, and now there are suddenly druids and melons and farting and everything........I'd better sit down.......actually, need a large glass of something first........