Friday, 8 June 2007



Chief Patissier's exciting project to mechanize the family bisuiterie is, it appears, fraught with problems of a highly technical nature! It is all terribly frustrating. Despite he and Antoine's noblest efforts and much groping inside Elmer Buckets marvelously impressive tool, they have been unsuccessful in locating the wiggets on the Dough making machine's sprangles although we all know perfectly well that the flanges had been more than adequately well greased and braced with grommets before their transportation, there is a real fear they may have fallen off en route somewhere between here and Brest. It would have been far safer perhaps to transport the machine in one piece rather than attempt the mammoth task of dismantling and reconstructing it, however to do so would have meant our taking the tent in which it was housed which just impossible.

It is all very well to accept the gift of one small American army tent, which I am sure will be very much appreciated by Loic once he gets used to it, but to accept two might be considered imprudent. Some one would be bound to notice and it would be almost bound to give rise to all sorts of petty jealousies which are best avoided whenever possible when one lives in a small community. I am not one to speak ill of another, however, now that Nicolas Fartoocozy is not only chairman of the twinning committee but also the chairman of the public health committee for the commune (with special responsibilities for fosse septique )one must be doubly cautious about offending the awful man for, given the slightest excuse, he will be barging his way into Chateau Loufoque and with out even a by your leave we shall find our plumbing inspected whether we like it or not!

Since Middle was unwell I was not in a position to be of any help to Chief Patissier regarding the missing wiggests so he was forced to seek out our Mayor to act as translator and telephone Captain Bucket in Brest. Happily the Mayor has recently recovered his power of speech almost completely. You may remember he made himself rather over familiar with the Turkish Raki the night of Nicholas Fartoocozy's election party and has taken some time to recuperate. We are very hopeful that by next Christmas he will be quite his old self again.

After several false leads they were finally able to locate Captain Bucket in a Bar in the Brest Dockyards where he informed Chief Patiiser he was being well cared for by two sisters, who had been very kindly helping him apply his ointment.Well they think that is waht he said. Bearing in mind Chief patissiers rather rudimentary grasp of Englsih Grammar and the Mayors temporary speech impediment I think they did extremly well. They are pretty certain that they managed to explain the problem to Captain Bucket and that he has promised to send not only a complete set of new wiggets, several flanges and a box os sprokets but half a German Machine Gun and two dozen nearly new bayonets plus a large box of donuts. Thankfully the Mayor managed to persuade him that we were already well supplied with agricultural machinery as he was rather keen to send us a plough as well.


I have no idea what I am going to do with the donuts if they arrive .I wonder if one dried them sufficiently whether they might not be useful as firelighters ?
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The painting is of a nun from the order of the sisters of mercy at teh bed side of an injured soldier. I suspect she is probably reading to him from something suitable on the perils of the administration of self medication. The Sisters of mercy are I would imagine the order of sisters to whom Captain Elmer Bucket eluded as they do a great deal of charitable work amongst soldiers and sailors in need of succour and Elmer Bucket did say he met them in the dockland area of Brest. I presume them to have been visiintg nuns who had entered the Bar to seek direciton to the local convent, and whilst there kindly offered to rub in Elmers linament for him.

10 comments:

Pondside said...

What a lot of excitement there's been chez vous!
re Elmer Bucket - Un Peu, I think that he is trouble. Please be prudent in any further communication with him. I just have a feeling........

Anonymous said...
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ChrisH said...

Welll done, dear heart, a brilliant blog in the most trying of circumstances.

bodran... said...

Well i have missed you, i'm trying to catch up what excitement you have been having with all those tools arriving i have no idea what you could do with the donnuts ask a sister of mercy..xxx

Pondside said...

Hi again - What's the New Blog???? Did I miss something?

sally's chateau said...

Set up some stakes in the garden and use the donnuts as hoops for a most marvellous game of hoopla !!

snailbeachshepherdess said...

I suppose MMe G could use them for target practice...aren't widgets what they have in beer cans?

LittleBrownDog said...

I imagine donuts would make excellent firelighters - all that sugar - but it does seem such a waste. Still, I imagine Un Peu does have to think of her figure - all those tight corsets, etc, one had to wear in those days.

Frances said...

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WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Oh I will relieve you of the troublesom doughnuts - no really no need to thank me.